The Top 10 Characters That I Was Irrationally Afraid of as a Child and Who I Am Still Afraid of Today

It’s October! That means every day is full of PUMPKINS and SCARVES and GHOULS! Even though it is still 90 degrees some days in Texas, I’ve been guzzling pumpkin spice coffee and only wearing black cotton leggings (which ARE pants). 

It’s also the time for horror movies. Magazines and websites have been releasing calendars so you can watch one scary movie every day in October. HA! No thank you. I like to sleep at night. I usually duck scary movies and avoid remembering freaky stuff because I’m a giant child who cannot shut my eyes without seeing a horrific monster face. I also sometimes wake up screaming due to a fun phenomenon called night terrors. So it’s usually best for me to avoid any nightmare fuel.

But this fall, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind, risk waking up to the sounds of my own shouts, and conquer my fears. Below, I have rehashed the horrific movie and TV show monsters that haunted my youth. In no particular order, here are the top 10 characters that I was irrationally afraid of as a child and who I am still afraid of today. My computer is now cursed from saving these images. You’re welcome.

The Leprechaun

Appearances:

*The last two don’t count because nobody is as scary as Warwick Davis.

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 8

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: TBD 

A well of horror that seems to never run dry, the titular Leprechaun from the series of movies has haunted me for nearly three decades. As a kid, I would have to sleep with the bedroom door closed because I always believed that I could see him lurking around that corner. Yes, he may be small, but he is fierce and very mean. He even bites a guy’s finger off!

The Leprechaun is not here to fuck around. He wants his gold, and a virgin bride if she sneezes three times without anyone saying, “Bless you.” Up until I was 18 years old, I was TERRIFIED of sneezing three times in a row with no one blessing me. I didn’t want to be The Leprechaun’s wife. Another thing – he’s pretty intimidating since he doesn’t have a first name. “The [Anything]” is a bad ass moniker. Maybe if we gave him a first name he would be less scary. Simon? Matthew? Harold? Yes, let’s go with Harold.

You can’t hurt me, Harold! Plus, I no longer fit the qualifications to be your bride… 

 
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Pennywise

Appearances:

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 6

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: Tim Curry version – NEVER. New movie version – Like a week after seeing Part 2.

The new Pennywise is pretty freaky, but NOBODY is as scary as Tim Curry. He has that really wicked laugh and that mocking wave that seems friendly but, I can assure you, are NOT! He was so much giddier and that somehow made him so sinister. He also made a guy kill himself in the shower. That made ME scared to shower for, like, a long time. That fear is definitely why I haven’t showered or washed my hair in a few days. Yes, let’s blame it on the clown and not low-grade depression due to *gestures around* ya know, everything.

Doesn’t matter that he (spoiler alert) turns into a giant spider thing or a tiny baby at the ends of the movies. I feel like that’s all a trap to get you feeling like he’s gone, and then BLAMO! - that’s when he will strike again!

 

David Arquette floating outside of Luke Perry’s Window in Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie. 

Appearances: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 7

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: I’ll let you know.

I always had an irrational fear of vampires as a kid. The idea that you had to invite them in before they could attack gave me some solace. But then David Arquette goes floating up to Luke Perry’s window, and now I have to worry that not only will they suck my blood, but they can FLY? Did it matter that I lived in a one-story house? No. Did it matter that, from all available evidence, vampires are not real? Also no. The imagery of that goofy bastard taunting the beautiful Luke Perry (may he RIP!) was forever burned into my brain. I also still close my blinds/curtains every single night juuuuust in case David Arquette wants to come floating by.

 
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Howie Mandel in Little Monsters

Appearances: Little Monsters (1989)

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 7

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: TBD

While I found Maurice scary, the ill-treatment to which Fred Savage was subjected by his really mean dad or physically abusive school principal, is the true evil. Also, I was pretty horrified how the monsters framed kids and caused them to get screamed at, like, a lot. At some point, Maurice pisses in a bottle and lets a little kid drink it, which, out of context seems really gross and inappropriate, but in context, is also gross and inappropriate.

I know Maurice is supposed to be the hero of the movie, but the frenetic performance of Howie Mandel coupled with his encouragement of Fred Savage to break all the rules and shirk his school work terrified me.

 
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The little kid on Pet Sematary slicing up Herman Munster’s ankle.

Appearances: Pet Semetary (1989)

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 6

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: Never truly stopped

I’m not embedding this video because I want you to be VERY sure that you want to see this. So if you do, click here to watch it on YouTube. VERY TRAUMATIC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBXQr25dHQE

This little kid, Miko Hughes, is very adorable. He’s a little shit in Full House, but always in a cute and endearing way. Then you see this movie and he freaking SLICES UP HERMAN MUNSTER’S ANKLE. It is very graphic, and to this day, I still step juuuuust a little bit away from the side of the bed so his tiny hands cannot reach me. The only real way to protect myself is to sleep in hiking boots, but Paris said I can’t anymore because of the scuff marks on the sheets and the bruised shins. 

 

Freddy Krueger

Appearances:

Age When I First Saw Him: About 9 years old in the back of my friend, Ashley’s mom’s van. They had a TV in their van! Very dope. But then I watched this movie, trying to be cool, trying not to be a baby, and got scarred for life.

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: NEVERRRRR

There are three really scary instances that I remember from these films. One is when he wrapped Heather up with his tongue because that is wild. Imagine the sheer force of that tongue, not to mention its stretchiness and mailability. It’s inhuman! Yes, I understand he can also jump into people’s heads like Inception (which, by the way, did Wes Craven get his cut of that movie?). And yes, he is returned from the dead/immortal/whatever. But that tongue just throws me off.

When girls say they like tongue stuff, they don’t mean this

Second, he said “Heather” a bunch of times during Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, and I took it personally. There is something freaky about hearing your name repeated over and over again by a horror villain. I weep for my baby niece named Sydney and the first time she’ll watch Scream. Special horror-movie-connection shout-out to Miko Hughes from Pet Semetary who also appeared in New Nightmare.

Finally, there was a strong implication that he was a sex offender which made him even scarier to me than if he was just a regular murderer. I grew up in the 90s, in the days of Stranger Danger and the invention of the Amber Alert. I watched 20/20 and evening news programs probably a little too young. They warned us of the eager sex predators lurking around every corner, patrolling the streets in their vans, ready to snatch up children (aka ME!) Now you’re telling me this one can get you INSIDE MY OWN BRAIN? Nahh I’m out.

Side note: I googled “freddy krueger sex offender” to clarify my memory. According to that bastion of knowledge, Reddit, it was initially planned for him to be a sex predator in the first movie, but they scrapped it and made him a murderer instead. The sequels and remakes have implied his prediction for kids to varying degrees. Some fans believe he was actually wrongfully accused of being a sex offender and killed by overeager parents, which fueled his hatred for children.

I’m not here to clear the reputation of Freddy Krueger. I’m here to tell you he scares the shit out of me and I’m a grown up. Paris did an impression in a Whole Foods once that was a little too accurate, and I actually screamed so loud that a concerned Karen whipped her head around to scowl at us.

 
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Beetlejuice

Appearances:

Age When I First Saw Him: Age 7

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: Intermittently since adulthood

I have a love/hate relationship with Beetlejuice. The movie is excellent, pure perfection, funny and gross and scary. The soundtrack is great. The acting is hilarious. CATHERINE O’HARA CAN DO NO WRONG. But while Beetlejuice is a whimsical and fun devilish character, he’s also pretty scary.

He straight up tried to marry a child bride and take her to live with him in the underworld. He turns nasty a few times in the film, and going from a funny joke-teller to a threatening asshole is emotional whiplash for a kid. Of course, I’d grow up and find out by dating comedians and wise guys that that bit wasn’t too far from real life.

Pretty sure Lydia wasn’t able to consent to this marriage

Pretty sure Lydia wasn’t able to consent to this marriage

I also grew up having black and white striped sheets to match a black-white-red-yellow Mickey Mouse bedroom theme. My sister would use the sheets to scare me, saying that Beetlejuice would get me because I was sleeping on his suit. My dad also did a Beetlejuice impression so accurate that it one time made me cry.

 What I’m realizing now is that maybe my fear should not be attributed to Beetlejuice, but to my own family who used it as a vessel to torment me…

 
Yes I am, very much, thank you.

Yes I am, very much, thank you.

Multiple Characters from Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I’d just like to remind you: these were all on a CHILDREN’S SHOW. The imagery is disturbing, and the targets are almost always children. Who green lit this madness?

Showing this to kids should be illegal

Showing this to kids should be illegal

Ghastly Grinner

Appearances: Are You Afraid of the Dark, S4, E8, November 12, 1994

Age When I First Saw Him: 8 years old

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: NEVER

This episode is about a kid who wants to be a comic book artist. I relate to the main character zero percent. He goes to a comic bookstore opening ALONE with NO GROWN UPS, a thing I would never do, and he is punished greatly in this episode for this transgression. He brings a comic book home from the store. The young man microwaves a comic book to dry it, inadvertently causing an evil entity called The Grinner to bust loose and wreak havoc.

The Grinner is a wicked, wide-grinning monster who turns adults into blue-drooling giggling fools.  The protagonist’s main ally is a mega nerd girl at his school named Hooper who I relate to greatly. She solves the mystery of how to beat the horrific monster by suggesting the main character write a comic book. Ah yes, save the world by writing.

Aside from the laughing yellow-faced monster, this episode is particularly horrifying because the monster destroys all adults, so there is no one to run to, no grown-ups, no representations of order or authority. It’s chilling.

Yeah he lives in a puddle, but he’s still freaky as hell

Yeah he lives in a puddle, but he’s still freaky as hell

 Watcher in the Woods

Appearances: Are You Afraid of the Dark, S3, E3, January 22, 1994

Age When I First Saw Him: 7 years old

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: NEVER

Another episode where I relate to the over-achieving mega nerd. Again in this episode, shenanigans ensue because someone is breaking the rules. The cool-kid-bad-girl, Kelly, wants to smoke cigarettes and walk off-trail and where does that lead? Witches, the Watcher and PERIL!

The Watcher’s entire face and demeanor scare me, and the idea that he controls the whole forest is intimidating. You know how we could have avoided meeting him, though? Following rules and not tricking the nerdy girl off the path by promising you’d show her a bird’s nest, KELLY! 

Sarah just wanted to do the orienteering competition and maybe see a cool bird’s nest, but she ends up wrist-deep in a bucket of rats, saving Kelly from being beheaded.

The only thing that saves the day and prevents the decapitation of a child? Knowledge of astronomy and history. Let that be a lesson to us all.

He’s so toasted even his teeth are burnt.

He’s so toasted even his teeth are burnt.

 THE FIRE GHOST

Appearances: Are You Afraid of the Dark, S4, E9, November 19, 1994

Age When I First Saw Him: 8 years old

Age I Stopped Being Afraid of Him: NEVER

Two kids, Jimmy and Roxy, whose dad is a fireman, end up spending a night unsupervised at a fire station. Jimmy is pissed that his dad fights fires too much. Ironically, the dad soon leaves the kids alone in the fire station while he goes off to fight a fire. Meanwhile, a fireman who “stays behind to watch the station” comes out and warns them of the Fire Ghost. He explains that the only way a fire ghost can cross into our world is if someone looks right into the flame.

Of course, less than 5 seconds later, little Jimmy stares directly into the flame and unleashes the ghost.

This episode is scary for several reasons – one, having a parent who is a first responder is very scary. My dad was a newspaper delivery man, and every night I lied in bed, worried he would get robbed or shot or in a car accident. My anxious little heart never would have been able to handle if he were a fireman.

Then, the Fire Ghost shapeshifts into a cop, so again, you can’t even trust authority figures. The only one you can trust is (spoiler alert) your dad’s ghost fireman-buddy who helps protect you.

The scariest part, besides the Fire Ghost getting in a child’s face, calling his father a murderer and then threatening to kill him, is that the Fire Ghost proceeds to SELF-IMMOLATE ON SCREEN

This was, of course, all part of little Jimmy’s plans. He taunted the ghost into setting himself on fire. Then the sprinklers come on and destroy the fire ghost for good. But what about the rest of us who don’t hang out in fire stations? What are we to do if we find ourselves accidentally staring into a flame and unleashing a black-toothed ghost on our homes with no sprinklers to save us?

To this day, when I light the gas fire in my living room in the house I live in as a grown-up adult human, I REFUSE to stare into the flames. Not worth the risk.

These may seem innocuous to you, but they have all stuck with me for all these years. What’s a character from your childhood that still spooks the heck out of you?

Heather McKinney